The Good and The Bad

By now I'm used to people asking me if I have kids, do I plan on having them, when I'm having them, I should already have them, type comments. But this is a first. And this one hurts the most.

I think I mentioned in a past post that we recently did some renovations in our apartment. When we bought our one bedroom 4 1/2 years ago we thought of it as our "starter" apartment. It's been completely renovated, doorman, eat-in-kitchen and in a great location. We love it here and really don't want to move, but we lack space. So knowing we want to expand our family (and a decent 2 bedroom is unaffordable right now) we did some work to our place that would buy us some time here. We tried to add as much storage space as possible without making it feel claustrophobic.

Our renovation was the talk of the building and hubby was telling everyone all the work that was being done. One of the things we did was combine 2 walk-in closets and made a small room. I was really worried about how this 'new' room would turn out, but I have to say, it turned out beautiful. We put in custom french doors where the closet doors were, a tiny ceiling fan, crown moldings and beautiful, soft oat carpet. It really looks great, very tiny, but cozy.

Last week hubby was talking to a building friend (who just had a baby about 5 months ago and got pregnant on the first try), and invited him up to see all the work we did. It's no secret that the room will eventually be a baby's room, but i'm not the type to blab about it to everyone. I say it will eventually be a baby's room, but it's an office for now. But hubby tells everyone. He tells everyone that it's going to be a nursery and now everyone is interested in the new room, a) because it's never been done in the building, and b) i guess because it's ridiculous to put a baby a closet. (You do crazy things when you live in NYC).

Anyway, he saw the room, loved it, said there's plenty of room for baby. Now he's apparently telling people in the building that he saw the room. OK, i dont care if people see it. What I do care about are the questions. Like when someone in the elevator asked "when is the baby due?"

This brought tears to my eyes when hubby told me this.

Now there are rumors that i'm pregnant. Can this get any worse. how much more pain can my heart take.

Oh, I called about my health plan yesterday. The good news is that I'm covered for all diagnosis infertility services. This includes bloodwork, tests, and procedures.

The bad news is they don't cover anything to actually help me get pregnant. No iui, no clomid, and certainly no ivf. So no more taking a back seat here. I gotta find out what the problem is before the end of the year. Then, if necessary switch to the hmo plan, where treatments are covered. I have to make these appointments. Hubby is going for the se, i'm finally going for the hsg. I'm calling Mon.

So thats good. Once I reach my $250 deductable then I'm covered 90%. Once I reach the $1000 max, I'm covered 100%.

Not bad. But not good.