July 29, 2008

Another Set Of Twins

today is not a good day for me.
I am angry and frustrated. I bought another box of those stupid pee sticks for that stupid fertility monitor. I don't know why. The biggest waste of $55. I'm so sick of charting, i've hardly been doing it, yet I can't Not do it.
C16 CD 10
I told hubby I'll be ovulating towards the end of the week. He goes, "yeah, so".
He knows what it means, he's just sick and tired of trying.
Needless to say, so am I.

I feel like this is the biggest wasted month. My dr didn't want to do anything until he saw hubby's sa, which of course is after I ovulate.
But i promised myself that as soon as we're done with that test I'm calling the dr and scheduling something for next month.

I see everyone else getting pregnant because they are proactive, and i'm angry at myself for waiting so long to do anything.
And I torture myself by keeping up with all the celebs who are getting pregnant. Last night I read about Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell. They announced they are expecting twins (2 girls), but claim they did not go through ivf, of clomid. Yeah, Bull Fucking Shit. They were trying for awhile and no qualms about announcing it. And now, at 35 she's expecting twins, with no help of science. Come on.

So whatever. I'm angry today.

July 26, 2008

So No Soy

So there's that new study out about soy and fertility. Apparently eating just one serving of soy every 2 days lowers a mans sperm count. Here's just one of the many recent articles out there.

Hmm, so I did some reading about that. Not that we eat that much soy. We occasionally have tofu, sometimes a veggie burger (made with soy), and it probably sneaks into other foods we eat, but hubby doesn't eat soy products like yogurt, milk or edamame. I definitely eat more than he does, which made me want to find out about women's fertility and soy. I know there have been studies saying that too much soy is not good for women either, (something about estrogen). I don't think I eat that much soy. I occasionally incorporate it into our diets for a protein source, but I don't go nutty with it. Although I have been eating soy yogurt, which I've really grown to like.

So my findings...not so good. I read lots of articles that said this...

"Women who are trying to conceive may want to heed the following: Avoid eating too much soy. According to a study involving humans, a compound found in soy known as genistein has been found to impair sperm as they swim toward the egg. Even tiny doses of the compound in the female tract could destroy sperm. Genistein can be found in all soy-containing products.

Researchers further explained that avoiding soy around a woman's more fertile days of the month might actually aid conception.

Based on the findings, a spokeswoman for the Vegetarian Society said that for anyone trying to become pregnant, avoiding soy products for a few days a month is worth a try ... even if there is a slim chance it will aid in fertility. [BBC News June 21, 2005]"

OK. So no more soy. I won't be eating even trace amounts of soy near ovulation. Not that I think that will help me get pregnant, but it's worth a try.

July 21, 2008


It came at about 4 yesterday afternoon. Wasn't expecting it at all. I started getting the mild cramping at around 3, then they got a little worse so I decided to check, just in case. And sure enough, I wiped and saw red.

Nuts. Another cycle gone.

My dr. didn't want to do anything until he gets the results from hubbys sa which is Aug 7th. Thats in 3 weeks. I guess it will be another cycle trying naturally, and another month of nothing.

Aaarrrggg. I'm so frustrated. Disappointed. Annoyed. Sad. Jelouse. Tired. Defeated.

When will it be our turn.

July 19, 2008

Ice Cream For Dinner

CD 27
It's a blazing 96 degrees here in nyc. But really it feels like 120. Between all the concrete, cars, buses, trucks and buildings blowing out hot air, it's just brutal.
I'll tell you what else is brutal, this two week wait. My boobs are still sore, but nothing like they were 11 days ago. And with each day they get a little less sore. I'm going to guess I'm not pregnant, again, but I still have a tiny bit of hope. I feel no other symptoms except the normal twinge, cramp and pms stuff i get every month. Although, i have been very motivated and energetic these past weeks. I did so many annoying chores that I usually put off forever, like giving my pooch a bath, clean, bills, errands, tons of laundry, and dying my hair (I really have so much grey). I also made a few batches of ice cream, and lots of cooking.

I actually made a few dishes worth mentioning, and because I have nothing else to say on the (in)fertility subject, I might as well talk about my other obsession; food.

So we've been pescetarians, (but eat very little fish) for 1.5 years. I have no problems with it, and don't miss the meat AT ALL. But it's a challenge to come up with dinner ideas. Hubby is a very picky eater, and me, I'll eat anything. I read a ton of food blogs, seriously, I must read more than a hundred just through bloglines. I love reading recipes and looking at pictures, aka, food porn. And I'm addicted.

I love cooking, and I make dinner just about every night. They're usually simple yet healthy meals, rarely following a recipe and use few, but super fresh ingredients. I read the food blogs to get inspiration for my meals, but I just wind up collecting the recipes with software I bought online. (I highly suggest YummySoup! It's an awesome recipe database, and so easy to import from any site.)

Anyway, I've been reading about these bbq seitan ribz for the past year and have been wanting to make them since I first saw them. I've read about them on so many vegan blogs, so I finally decided to make them. Well, they were great, and Hubby gave them an A++ !! I never made seitan before (except the chickpea cutlets from Vcon), because it seem overly involved. But these were so easy, and really, i think meat eaters wouldn't even know they weren't meat. Even if you think you don't like seitan, these will change your mind. Definitely give them a try.

I also made crepes with summer vegetables and ricotta, with a scallion cream sauce. Another great dish. I looked all over for pre-made crepes, but when I couldn't find them I decided to make my own (which was a first). Crepes are so easy to make, but take a little time. They're made by mixing egg, water, milk, and flour. And for the filling I used zucchini, green beans, corn, scallions and ricotta. Roll the crepe with the filling and drizzle the scallion cream on top, yum. You can find the recipe here.

I made a few other things, but these were the best. I also have a base mixture for ricotta ice cream in the fridge that I can't wait to make. It tastes so good without churning it, I can only imagine the deliciousness when frozen. If i make it now I would eat the whole batch and never be hungry for dinner. But maybe I should make a new tradition, just like John and Kate plus 8 did. Once a year we have ice cream for dinner. And in my case, it would be Homemade Ricotta Ice Cream. You'll get it if you watch the show, if not, you should start, its hilarious.

July 10, 2008

Forgot to Mention

I forgot to mention that my boobs have been sore since I ovulated, cd13 (now on cd18). This is new for me.

Some months ago I noticed my nipples get really sensitive and hurt for a few days around ovulation. But this month I had really sore boobs and nipples, which kinda sucked. It seems like every few months something new happens. My boobs getting sore a week before my period only started about a year ago. My nips hurting is like a 5 month thing. And this month my boobs hurt. So instead of 1 week of soreness, I get two weeks. Sweet.

I still get all the other crappy pms symptoms too, like bloation, hungry all the time (well, not hungry, but just want to eat), crankiness, and back pain.

Speaking of back pain, I have self diagnosed myself with sciatica. This is a very well educated self diagnosis. A few days after my hsg I had really bad lower back pain. I mean really low, like into my buttocks. It was so painful. I couldn't sit or lay down, and believe it or not it felt better to walk or stand. Of course I searched the internet to find out what it was and what I should do about it. (at this point I thought it might be sciatica or something similar).

I dealt with the pain for a few days, but then it got really bad and pain was running down my butt to my leg. On Monday my leg felt numb and my pinky toe was totally numb. I went to the dr on Tues. and she gave me a couple prescriptions and references for other drs. When I was at work yesterday I was telling people my story and everyone (those who have/had it) agreed and said it's definitely sciatica. They have the exact same symptoms even with the numb pinky toe.

So why didn't the dr tell me that. It's such a common problem, how could she not know? Are doctors so afraid to give a diagnosis just in case they may be wrong and I may sue them? Or did she simply just forget to mention I have sciatica and welcome to old age.


My dr (obgyn) finally called me back after I put in a call 3 days ago. He said the hsg looks normal; now what. I told him hubbys sa is Aug 7th and i wanted to know about next steps. He said many keep trying naturally, and some start drugs. I asked him about iui, and he said that definetly an option but wants to see the results of the sa. In the meantime keep trying.

This is like the month of no answers.

July 2, 2008

Moving forward

Just came back from my hsg...all clear! yeay!
What a heavy load off my shoulders. I have been so worried about this test, for both physical and emotional reasons. I was so ready for them to say 'i see blocked fallopian tubes' or that something is not right with my uterus. I am so, so, so relieved. For now of coarse. I know there could still be a million different things wrong with me, but i'm glad to know my tubes and uterus look good.

I definitely worked myself up for this test. I did too much research, read too many stories. I took 3 aleve prior to the appointment, and i was still shaking out of control. The dr and assistant were so nice, really, they couldnt be nicer. They completely explained everything that was happening, before and during the process. I even got a demonstration with the tube and balloon of what and how it was going to happen. I think the whole thing would have been a breeze if i didnt have such a narrow cervix. Thats when the uncomfortable pain came in. He was having problems getting the catheter through to my uterus, so he was using these long metal things (i forgot what they were called), i guess to widen my cervix and make it easier to get the tube through. They tried 5 times (each metal stick a little thicker and painful) and finally they got it through, blew up the little balloon (slightly painful), and started the dye. At that point I didnt feel a thing (with the exception of the tubes and speculum in me). They told me to tilt to the right, tilt to the left, then I saw the thumbs up. And repeat, pump of dye, tilt right, tilt left, and thumbs up. I was so happy I started to cry.

My husband was there waiting for me, and it was nice to see his face when I walked out to the waiting room. They told me to take it easy and gave me a prescription for Cipro (because they did poke my cervix 5 times), so hubby is getting it for me now.

Honestly, I am so happy that its over. It wasn't the most pleasant, but it could have been worse. Next is hubby's sa, and talk to my dr about next step. I have no problem going for an iui next month (maybe I shouldnt read up on it), even though insurance doesnt cover it. Depending on how much it cost, I think I saved enough for a few cycles worth.

Now I'm excited. I feel better and ready to move forward. I'm ready to embrace science.

btw, thank you for all the well wishes. I truly appreciate your comments.

July 1, 2008

Food Overload

The Fancy Food Show was great! It's the best trade show ever (if your a foodie like me), and I look forward to it every year. I've been going with my mom for the past 3 or 4 years. You get to see and taste new foods coming to the market, and stuff currently in stores. There are so many vendors, and this year they had a whole section upstairs dedicated to organic/natural foods. I could seriously go on and on about how I love this show and all the great foods I tried (and samples I brought home). Unfortunately we didn't realize there was 3 levels till later today and we completely missed the bottom section because we ran out of time. We only go on the 2nd and 3rd day and we get there around noon, and thats not enough time to see everything. Thats ok though, because I seriously don't think I could taste another piece of cheese, chips or chocolate.

When I got home I had to pick-up my CSA share. Another awesome event. Every week I go to the pick-up site (which is only a few blocks down from my apartment) and get my share from the Chubby Bunny Farm. This week we got garlic scapes, beets, parsley, lettuce, kale, and broccoli rabe. I also signed up for the optional fruit and eggs share, and got wonderful cherries and strawberries. Last year we visited the farm and saw the hens that lay our eggs. I love to see where my food is coming from.

I wish this day wouldn't end. It was a great day, filled with wonderful foods and having fun with my mom. It certainly kept my mind off of tomorrow, which will suck. I get to go for my hsg at 2:30. Hubby said he would meet me there, but he's got a client presentation. I guess he'll leave the meeting early so he can me meet at the drs. office.

Now I have to spend some more time researching how the procedure will go down. I've read so many sites and stories about it, but who ever heard of research overload?