Complete Opposites

The only thing my sister and I have in common is the fact we both have problems getting pregnant. My sis and brother-in-law were diagnosed with infertility when they learned his swimmers aren’t swimming so well. It’s been a long journey for them to get to where they are today.

They discovered their problems when they were trying for their first. After 6 months of trying naturally, they decided that was long enough and made the appointments with the drs. She took all the required blood work, HSG and everything came back fine. That’s when they found his mobility to be really low. They started with IUI and I think she got pregnant the first or second time. That was 6 years ago and now they have a beautiful 5 year old daughter.

When they decided to try for another child, they were only going to try naturally for 3 months. They knew the issues at hand and they figured why waste time (I think she was 34 at the time, now she’ll be 36 next month). After the 3 months they started with the IUI. I’m not sure how many she had, but it was a whole bunch, I want to say at least 6-8. That wasn’t working, and the next steps were IVF. I’m not really close to my sister so I’ve never talked to her about this stuff. But I am really close to my mom and we would have lengthy conversations of what my sister is going through and how she is dealing with it.

Even though I live across the park from my sister, we rarely see or speak to each other. My sister and I see the world completely different. Our thoughts, how we deal with things, our perspective on life, everything is complete opposite. She’s the typical type A, high strung, materialistic, overly dramatic, always running around, when having a conversation she talks about the lunch she had with her friends and what they are doing. She can’t pee without running it by her friends, and doesn’t care about anything but herself. I’m the typical B personality. Very laid back, down to earth, into eating organic, no-chemicals-lets-save-the-world, deep into my thoughts, can’t stand the bullshit, can stay home and entertain myself for days, and overly compassionate- especially with animals (hence being vegetarian).

As night and day my sister and I are, my mom and I as too much alike and extremely close. When people talk about soul mates, I know what they mean. We think alike, see the world the same, want the same things, and when I ask a question, she always answers the way I would. We can finish each others thoughts. We talk about anything and everything.

My mom and never really agreed with how my sister was doing and dealing with the issue. She was put on all these different drugs, taking shots and doing the IVF clomid thing. She got pregnant, but then miscarried. Once she got her period, she was back on the drugs, preparing for round 2. This time she froze the remaining embryos. Unfortunately she miscarried again. Without giving her body a rest from all the drugs, she went onto round 3. And finally, Feb 5th, they once again implanted 3 embryos, with the assumption, and hope only one will stick.

When she started trying for #1 6 years ago, she told lots of people, and she gave details. Everyone in the family (our side and his), knew what they were going through. And she did the same this time around. She said she only told us and a few ‘very’ close friends. I don’t know if she realizes it, but her caddy friends all gossip with each other, and she was just another gossipy conversation for them. Because of her dissappointments, apparently she only told my mom and her mother-in-law about this last round (and probably a friend or 2). She’s hinted to me that she’s going through the process again, but never told me dates or details. Technically I’m not supposed to know she’s ‘pregnant’. I truly hope this one sticks. I can feel her pain, wanting something so bad and not being able to get it.

Could this be the one thing that will bring us closer together. The one thing and we can share how we feel. But then i think, no we are complete opposites. At this point, I don't want to share my struggles, I don't feel the need to share it with my friends.

I haven't told a single soul that we’ve been trying to get pregnant. Not even my mom.