September 4, 2008

New Food, Better Mood

Everything went according to plan. I got my first peak reading Tuesday morning so we were right on schedule with the iui. We dropped off his sample for washing at 9, and I was inseminated at 11:15. Hubby was in the dr office with me and thought the whole process was very cold. Not surprising that he would say something like that, he didn't want to do it in the first place.

I'm pretty sure i ovulated Tues around 6:30pm. I was so crampy and my nips got so sore. They are still a bit sensitive, but not as bad as when I ovulate.

Now i'm in the tww. The longest 2 weeks ever. Hubby keeps asking how I'm feeling. I think he assumes this is going to work on the first try, kinda like when he thought I would be pregnant the first month we started trying. I specifically told him the day before the iui that it may not work. His response was 'why wouldn't it work.' And he was asking when he said this, it was more like a statement, like of coarse it will, there is no reason why it shouldn't.

I find it hard to be hopeful these days. I can hardly see myself pregnant, let alone holding my own child. I used to be so optimistic about getting and being pregnant, but this experience has taught me otherwise. I feel differently towards my infertility now. I don't cry anymore. There were months when I was crying everyday. In the shower, walking the dog, on the train, anywhere, anytime. It was terrible. I'm certainly more accepting now. I know we have a problem, i'm willing to accept it and do what we have to do. Sure, it's not how I imagined things would be, but it sure has made me a stronger person. And I think a better person. I definitely have a greater appreciation for life. All life.

I'm trying to stay positive and want to think I actually have a chance this month. To keep my mind busy, I did one of my favorite things to do: food shop. I go to this one particular store in the city that has isles upon isles of gourmet and imported foods. They have everything there. Plus they have the largest organic/vegan section I know of in the city. Well, except for Whole Foods. But WF is about triple the price. Anyway, I love to go there and find new product and try new foods. Of coarse I try to stick with the non processed foods, but once in a while I splurge.

Some new foods that I bought today:
lychee (which I've had but never bought)
black velvet apricot (very deep purple, not as sweet as I wanted)
dill (I love dill but never buy it because hubby Hates it, so not sure what to do with it yet)
CrispyDelites (low fat, dehydrated veggie chips)
and the one thing I've been looking for for months, So Delicious Coconut Milk Yogurt. I'm not a huge soy fan (due to all the processing), and I've heard all great things about this yogurt. I can't wait to try it!

I get happy just talking about food. I think I'll go eat some more lychees.

1 comment:

jenn said...

Congrats! I honestly found the last week of the last 2ww the easiest. Ironic huh- I didn't even want to test (I was extremely exhausted so I think that had something to do with it!) But the first part was torture! I hope you get through it okay- try to distract yourself as much as possible, enlist the hubby. Good luck- I'll be checking in to see how you're doing.